It is what it is. I love that phrase. And I know a lot of people who hate it. I think they misunderstand it. I view it as acceptance. I think others view it as surrender.

Acceptance and surrender are not the same thing. The Buddhists have known this forever, and I’ve been living among people who practice this understanding my whole nomadic adult life, from Bhutan to Southeast Asia.

You do not light incense in front of something you’re giving up on. You acknowledge reality as a starting point, not an ending. You see the thing as it is before you decide what to do next, or whether to do anything at all. That’s not passivity. That’s clarity.

I’ve noticed that the people who hate the phrase, tend to be people who are very invested in things being other than they are.

But there’s a particular kind of suffering that comes from refusing to see what’s actually there.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. And what it is, is extraordinary.

I think that’s the part of the phrase that haters don’t get. Accepting reality is not the same as settling for it. It means you’re actually seeing it, which is the prerequisite for loving it, changing it, or writing about it.

There’s a a whole philosophy of peace inside these five words, and if you don’t understand that, then, you don’t understand me.

June 2026